another satisfied customer

problem:
after installing new ink cartridges in my mom's all in one HP printer, the thing went into death con 4 and all its lights started flashing non-stop.

solution:
talk to online support.

below is my transcript. it was like i was talking to a robot. an amazing robot named Dawson. but in the back of my mind, i knew it was someone in india doing some amazing cutting and pasting. and who was familiar with american pop culture.
----
....Dawson: However, let us perform some troubleshooting steps to isoalte the issue. Shall I proceed?
josh chang: let's do it!
Dawson: Fine.
Dawson: Please remove both the cartridges from the unit.
josh chang: hang on. i just turned it off
josh chang: and i turned it on
josh chang: and now it's aligning the cartridges
Dawson: Have you removed the cartridges from the unit?
josh chang: nope
josh chang: i just turned it off and turned it back on
josh chang: and now it's printing
Dawson: Please remove the cartridges from the unit.
josh chang: hang on.. it's printing a test page
Dawson: okay
josh chang: it's printing now =)
josh chang: yay!
josh chang: it's printing
josh chang: we win!
Dawson: Great.
Dawson: Is there any error lights blinking on the unit?
josh chang: my mom is giving me kisses
josh chang: because i am awesome
josh chang: nope
josh chang: no more error lights
Dawson: I appreciate your efforts toward resolving the issue.
josh chang: and i appreciate your support
Dawson: Thank you very much.
Dawson: Let us check the unit by printing a self test page from the front panel of the All-in-One.
Dawson: 1. Press the Setup button repeatedly until the Print Reports is displayed.
2. Press Enter to select it then Press 5 for Self-Test
Dawson: Please perform the above steps from the front panel of the All-in-One.
josh chang: cool let me do that
Dawson: Sure.
josh chang: it is printing
Dawson: Great.
Dawson: Does it mean that the issue has been resolved now ?
josh chang: yes.
josh chang: you are hot like jessica alba
Dawson: Thanks for your appreciation.
Dawson: e1
Dawson: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
josh chang: nope, i'm good
josh chang: goodnight
Dawson: You are most welcome. Its been a pleasure talking to you.

---
i think that random e1 meant "she is so hot."

i want to kill advertising

i'm on my new sony vaio laptop! i'm finally going to retire my old anvil laptop and now have something that's actually portable. it's like dumping an old fat hag and picking up a sleeker, more stylish girlfriend. and yes! i'm a loooooser for stating that.

but after i booted up my new baby, my joy was completely stripped after seeing the number of icons and services that came bundled with windows vista.

and i'm just so overwhelmed right now.

i don't need AOL, AOL video, Napster, AOL Internet Services, a travelocity widget, Adobe Store, 90 days of free web conferencing, Quickbooks, CONNECT ebooks, the LocationFree player, 60 days of Sentry Parental Control, Wheel of Fotune, Jeopardy, Bewitched, Q*Bert, Rock&Roll Jeopardy. and WTF is mylo?

i'm doing my best to uninstall every unnecessary program, gadget, service... and i'm trying to tweak vista to stop being so overprotective (user access controls).. but it's too much and i'm going to shut my new girlfriend down. this is so unsexy. at least the old hag knew my old ways and wasn't this high maintenance. i can't keep this new dane under control.

i am defeated.

some day.

that's part of my morning walk to work. some day we will have live cameras on us at ALL times.

and this won't seem so disturbing:



"I think your story's jive," she said
There ain't nothing wrong with me
If I use it to get me some sympathy
Some ecstasy
A memory, I want to remember me
Crazy about you
Crazy without you
Crazy over you
- afghan whigs / crazy

the bay

it is so nice and chill. with nice people who chill. and bananas. and stat ball. and this place called verde.

i'm going to miss it.

and i learned how to take off my shirt in two seconds. if i'm wearing XXL.